Apicius

There must be something in the water in this vicinity of Kent. The county boasts only four restaurants with a Michelin-star, and two of them sit within ten minutes of each other. Strangely, they are both run by husband and wife teams, both sited in 15th century cottages, and they both serve modern British haute cuisine using impeccably sourced local ingredients. Oh, and both for very reasonable prices too. In London, one wouldn’t blink at such an occurrence, but out here in the Garden of England, sparse in Michelin-stars and surrounded by orchards and horses? Unless one restaurant has mastered the art of quantum mechanics and manages to be in two places at once, we must put it down to an uncanny coincidence…or something in the water.

Apicius is located in the picturesque village of Cranbrook, occupying the small space within one of the ancient beamed cottages along the high street; so small in fact, they only have nine tables in the homely but sophisticated dining room, one of the reasons you need to book well in advance. The other reason is that it’s a popular destination, and rightly so.

Chef-Patron Tim Johnson mans the stoves and dishes out the grub. Though to call it grub is probably something of an insult. Johnson first trained under Brian Turner before going on to work with Gary Rhodes and one of Marco Pierre White’s own mentors, the inimitable Nico Ladenis. This esteemed training is wholly evident in the food.

A starter of deep fried cod brandade with a parmesan crisp, rocket salad and aioli was a delicate concoction belaying an experienced hand and palate. The brandade, a posh fishcake, was juicy and meaty; the aioli was good enough to eat a bucketful (not recommended on a first date).

The main course, a slow roast shoulder of Kentish pork accompanied by crunchy crackling, creamed potato, Savoy cabbage and caramelised apples, was as delicious as it sounds. A classic combination, executed with finesse. I often find it pretentious when restaurants call mashed potato ‘pomme puree’ or ‘creamed potato’, but in this case the term ‘creamed’ as opposed to mashed was fully applicable. This was no ordinary mashed potato. The maitre d’, Mrs Johnson, told us that nobody makes mashed potato like her husband. And she was right. You could eat a bucketful of this stuff; in fact it would go quite well with the bucketful of aioli. And did I mention the little croquet of confit pork too?

By now I was finding it hard to contain my excitement about the dessert, which based on the starter and main course should naturally live up to expectations and be a beautifully presented, well crafted and perfectly balanced example of modern cooking. Yet so many restaurants of this calibre fail to deliver on the desserts, so my excitement was tempered by the feeling that our winning meal may still trip at the final hurdle, only to be cruelly put to death and sold for dog food.

Enter stage left, chocolate and crème fraiche mousse with Bailey’s ice cream and a spiced orange ‘soup’. The nail was hit squarely on the head once again; we passed the finish line in a blaze of triumphant glory, no dogs were getting their paws on this dessert. In the words of the greedy Valentine Warner, “Wow, wow…Wow.” But it’s just a chocolate mousse I hear your inner demons cry! Nay, dear reader, this was no ordinary chocolate mousse. This was the work of magical elves from the Garden of Kentish Eden, who harvest the mystical chocolate flowers and pulp them into the most fantastically bubbly and fluffy potion, so light and airy that it needs to be held down by tap-dancing pink elephants. The preternatural chocolate also emits extraordinary taste sensations, rendering the eater completely infatuated – think Edmund and the Turkish Delights – sweetly sickening but strangely savoury enough to leave you wanting more, and more, and more. Another bucketful please, waiter! That’s when Mrs Johnson kindly points to the shot-glass of spiced orange soup, which is supposed to cleanse some of the pixie dust you have eaten and helps to dampen the chocolate spell.

At £29.95 for three courses of this quality, you can’t help feeling that something magical really is at work here. It’s not only the food and the service that surpass all expectations, even the little dining room manages to feel larger than it is, without losing any of its intimacy. Next time I go, I will be ordering in advance: a bucketful of aioli, another bucketful of mash (with confit pork croquettes to dip), and to finish, a swimming pool of magical chocolate mousse from Karnia, the Kentish Narnia. Now I know what’s in the water; it’s culinary pixie dust.

Apicius, 23 Stone Street, Cranbrook, Kent TN17 3HF. Tel: 01580 714 666: Web: www.restaurant-apicius.co.uk

The other Michelin-starred restaurant nearby is The West House in Biddenden.