Brumus at The Haymarket

Kit Kemp and her husband Tim are key players in London’s boutique hotel market, and more recently in New York too with The Crosby Street Hotel that opened last year. Kit oversees the interior design of each hotel, a super-trendy cocktail of old world versus new, tradition versus change, bathing guests in a subtle kaleidoscope of colours, textures, shapes and decorative styles. Although each hotel is different and distinct, you know when you’ve walked into a Firmdale; they are quirky, playful and glamorous. Take The Soho Hotel as an example, where the lobby is dominated by a gigantic sculpture of a cartoonish black cat by artist Fernando Botero. You feel as if you have just stepped into a hotel wonderland. If Lewis Carroll were alive today, he’d most certainly approve. And so would Alice.

The Haymarket Hotel in London opened in 2007, a few months before the first signs of a global banking crisis, and there is a droll nod to this in the dining room of Brumus, the hotel’s restaurant, where a painting on the wall depicts a copy of a financial newspaper with a doom-mongering headline about Wall Street. Was this a retro-fit or had they been consulting with Mystic Meg? Whatever the case, it’s in keeping with the contemporary ethos of the Firmdale hotels. My favourite painting, however, features a cup of tea placed next to a copy of Bill Bryson’s Notes from a Small Island, a book about the writer’s comical adventures across Blighty. Not only does Mrs Kemp have a remarkable flair for interior design (indeed, she has won awards for it), she also has a sense of humour.

A painting of a tea cup is quite apt because I had come to The Haymarket for afternoon tea, priced at a very reasonable £17 per person. The warm and rather funky dining room in shades of red and pink boasts comfortable seating, chunky tables and if you peer up at the ceiling, you’ll notice the light shades are actually umbrellas. I half expected to see Mary Poppins having tea at the next table with the Mad Hatter and Willy Wonka (now that’s a tea party I’d like to see).

An assortment of finger sandwiches included crab and avocado, ham and mustard, egg and cress, but all could have done with a tad more filling to satisfy greedy-gobs like me. Then again, afternoon tea is supposed to be a sophisticated affair, not a Viking feast, and in this case the former overruled the latter. The scones were warm and crumbly and utterly delicious, but where the meal really excelled was in the cake department. Two cupcakes topped with creamy icing were among the most delicious cupcakes I have ever eaten; I’m guessing Mr Wonka had a hand in those.

The side was let down somewhat by the tea which seemed to be standard brew as opposed to high-end speciality blends, but the food was so tasty I didn’t really mind. We were offered another round of sandwiches too which I regretfully declined, not wanting to walk out of the restaurant looking like Tweedledum. But anywhere that gives you extra food for free gets a big A+ on my scorecard.

The restaurant itself was well stocked with happy customers, most of who appeared to be Londoners rather than tourists, which is always a good sign. Service was friendly and helpful, and most importantly, they know how to smile. Apparently Mrs Kemp sources smiling potion from the White Rabbit, or so I’m told.

I hadn’t been expecting much from the experience but I left with the feeling that I would like to return, immediately, and sample it all over again. I’d happily take my chances with the lunch or dinner menu too. I’m sure it would be fit for a King of Hearts.

If you’re looking for somewhere in London to enjoy an afternoon tea and you don’t want to risk the acerbic staff at Claridges or the production-line at The Ritz, then The Haymarket is a very good bet indeed. And if that doesn’t take your fancy, you can pick from one of the other five Firmdale hotels instead.

But take note, dear readers, don’t walk too close to any mirrors, there’s no telling what awaits you on the other side.

The Haymarket Hotel, 1 Suffolk Place, London SW1Y 4BP. Tel: 020 7470 4000. Website: www.firmdale.com