With one week to go in what is quite possibly the most seismic, divisive, and agonisingly engaging election in modern US history, Lydia Manch thinks seeing out the evening of November 8th requires some drastic action…
Obviously you should treat the election like any other frightening film: watch it from behind the sofa with a cushion to clasp over your face, and make your lover tell you when it’s safe to look again. If you can, be doing all of that from a safehouse deep in the woods.
If you happen to be in London, the next best thing is going to be human comfort on all sides and a ready supply of alcohol. From the stately to the high-brow to the thoroughly whisky-sodden defiance, we’ve assembled the best places to cross your fingers and do your dusk till dawning this 8th November.
The Lexington – King’s Cross
You shouldn’t be choosing your venue like you’d choose a bar any other night. There’s more at stake here: if Trump gets in you want to be somewhere you can flip the locks and go Full Isolation till years from now you step out, blinking in the glare of sunlight reflected off the toppled skyscrapers.
So the Lexington’s good. It’s spacious, multi-floor, well-stocked with burgers and whisky, lots of sofas for sleeping on, and attractive people for you to start a breeding programme with.
The Lexington, 96-98, Pentonville Road, N1 9JB.
Dinerama – Great Eastern Street
It’s always a bit fin-de-siecle at Street Feast. Their Dinerama venue’s going to play host to an all-night mix of streetfood, rowdiness, games, drinking and excess. So basically the same as every other night at Dinerama, except with a backing track of election footage.
Dinerama, 19, Great Eastern Street, EC2A 3EJ.
The K Bar – Queen’s Gate
Lots of good reasons to pick this one, like the US themed food – Montgomery Cheddar Chilli Dog or cheesesteaks – and the opulence of the bar, all dark wood panelling and heavy leather chairs. And the fact you could book a bedroom at their attached townhouse and be falling into bed minutes after they call the winner.
But all you really need to know is that your ticket comes with a cocktail: the incredibly-named Hell Toupee. It’s almost a Manhattan, but do you even care what’s in it? Go reward this beautiful, terrible pun with your presence.
The K Bar at the Kensington, 109-111, Queen’s Gate, SW7 5LR. Tickets are £20 and include a cocktail.
The Frontline Club – Norfolk Place
For a more intellectual night, the Frontline Club’s going to be full of the sort of people who really get – and, often, write for the broadsheets about – the weirder intricacies of the US electoral system. Make them explain all the different forces that went into bringing this unholy race into being, or just drink a lot of whisky cocktails or US pale ales till you don’t care anymore – the Frontline Club’s good at those, as well.
The Frontline Club, Norfolk Place, W2 1QJ.
The American Bar at the Stafford London – Westminster
Come here for an antidote to end-of-the-world debauchery – everything about this stately old bar, from the old-fashioned leather seats to the heavy mahogany table to the decades of photos crammed onto the walls says, ‘we’ve weathered more than this’. All this lunacy feels a lot more temporary, watching it from the middle of so much antiquity.
The American Bar at the Stafford London, 16, St. James’s Place, SW1A 1NJ.
And after all that, whatever the result, we offer you our commiserations or congratulations to nurse your head on November 9th…