A week of small people, no school and one dwindling parental reserve of patience. Here’s where to feed them, tire them out and, with luck, return them to the classroom marginally improved…
For the little kitchen trolls…
Dinner is, as ever, the daily hostage negotiation. Giggle Kitchen’s Halloween recipe box proposes a cunning reversal: hand the children the apron and sit down. The kit, aimed at ages five and up, has them assembling Jack-o’-lantern Quesadillas (cheese, beans, menace) and Boo-nana Monster Muffins, which turn a ghoulish green thanks to a secret helping of spinach. Chocolate chips cover a multitude of sins.
The comic-book recipe cards star Dad-racula and Little Witch, and the box also holds spooky games, crafts, stickers and an entire pumpkin to carve, so the entertainment outlasts the cooking. A breakfast is donated through Magic Breakfast for every box ordered, which lets you feel virtuous while someone else stirs.
Available nationwide until the end of the month, with new customers getting their first box for £21 (30% off the usual £29.99), or a one-off box at full price. Order your box at gigglekitchen.co.uk
For tiny villains (and the parents they’ve turned into)…
By Wednesday, someone in your household is bound to be plotting something. Channel it at Park Corner Brasserie, London Hilton on Park Lane, where Once Upon a Villain has staged a hostile takeover of the Disney Princess Afternoon Tea. Head Pastry Chef Sam Leatherby, a Bake Off: The Professionals winner, has composed a patisserie rogues’ gallery, including Enchanting Apple, Between Two Thorns, Deep Sea Swirl and Mystic Top Hat.
The savouries are no slouches either: The Carriage Awaits (chicken with pumpkin butter) and From The Bayou (roast beef). There are black cherry and blueberry scones, and chocolate truffles arrive in a glass slipper, so you can be Cinderella or her stepmother, depending on how the morning went.
Served daily from 12.30pm to 7pm at £70 per adult and £45 per child. Nobody said evil was cheap. Book Once Upon a Villain at parkcornerbrasserie.com
For your little bookworms…
Should your offspring have been caught reading voluntarily (it happens), reward them at Dalloway Terrace at The Bloomsbury, whose Secret Garden Afternoon Tea has come to the under-12s. Priced at £30 per child and served daily from 12pm to 4pm, it takes its cues from the classic: a chocolate flower pot served in an actual terracotta pot, a shortbread key and Mary’s Victoria sponge, plus proper finger sandwiches and sultana and vanilla scones with Cornish clotted cream.
An activity book on arrival buys you a few precious minutes of quiet. And with the British Museum, Covent Garden and the West End all within a short stroll, it makes a civilised pit-stop in a day of marching small legs round central London.
Reserve a table at dallowayterrace.com
For niños with big appetites…
Few phrases soothe the weary parent like ‘kids eat free’. Brindisa Tapas is saying it at its Battersea and Richmond restaurants from 19 to 30 October, Monday to Friday, 11am to 4.30pm. Each paying adult ordering from the à la carte menu gets up to two children a complimentary meal, soft drink and ice cream apiece.
The children’s menu runs to Choricitos, Patatas y Huevos, Deditos de Pollo and Coca con Escalivada, and activity sheets (word search, colouring, kid-friendly sudoku) keep the table occupied while you linger over the jamón. A leisurely Spanish lunch with children is a bold claim, but we’re prepared to believe it.
Find your nearest Brindisa at brindisatapas.com
And it’s not too late to get away (albeit with the kids)…
If the week has gone the way of all weeks and you’re in need of an escape, Geneva has some seasonal charm on offer. The Choco Pass sends families on a tasting trail through the Old Town (there’s a version for children, naturally), and at L’atelier Chocolat Favarger little chocolatiers can make their own creations, even the pickiest of whom will presumably be won over.
Bois de la Bâtie, the city’s largest urban forest, offers golden oak trails and an animal park of endangered Swiss goats and peacocks, while the Botanical Garden runs free workshops and walking tours for those who like to learn something en famille.
Over at the Domaine du Château de Collex, there’s a candy hunt among the vines and a lantern workshop. While the children are supervised, you may slip away for a guided wine tasting, and the truly brave can tackle the estate’s Haunted House as an optional extra. Everything lives on the Hello Geneva! app, along with free Geneva Transport Cards for the whole family.
Plan your family trip at geneve.com
And breathe…
Whether you’re carving, nibbling, wandering or fleeing the country, half term only lasts a week. Pick one (or, ambitiously, all five), pour yourself something restorative and remember that the school run resumes on the Monday. You have survived worse.
Header photo by Erik Mclean, courtesy of Unsplash
